Darkness from Within

Tears.

They make my eyes burn, make my nose itch. I hate them. Yet, they are turning into my best friend rather quickly.

I feel so angry. With the world. With my family. But most of all, I’m angry with myself. I don’t know what’s wrong. I should be glad. Relieved. Enjoying life. Instead, I lock myself up and hide behind my pile of books, devouring one story after the other until morning turns into evening and the sun changes into the moon.

My heart squeezes in pain (longing) when there’s a new adventure with a handsome hero with strong arms protecting our heroine and although this is far from reality, I secretly wish this could be mine one day. Sometimes.

When I feel lost and insecure. Alone. And scared. When I turn away from everyone, pushing them out of my life and lie down upon the bed, closing my eyes. When I wish someone would be here to help me out of that dark state; to wrap their arms around me and whisper it will be okay. To feel their breath touching my skin softly and know when I close my eyes tonight, that someone will make sure that when the sun of tomorrow starts to rise, it will warm me inside and help me to find my smile again.

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I haven’t been blogging a lot lately because I’m struggling with a lot of messed up emotions. This being a snippet of the best part of my week. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m trying my hardest to climb out of this darkness. However, at this moment, even getting online feels like climbing a mountain. I hope you all understand the lack of (happy) posts and reviews but I thought you should know what’s been going on.

I promise I’ll make up for it when I feel better again.

P.S. There will be a video online soon that’s been LONG overdue but was recorded on the first day when this mess started. Which is probably the reason why I’ve been postponing the editing/uploading… *coughs*

Until a much happier post!

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