Today, you needed more…?

Today’s question from the Q&A a day by Potter Style is open for interpretation. This could range from you needing chocolate/beer to needing some space from everyone else. I’ve seen this one coming for a while and I wanted to share something a bit more profound than chocolate, today. Because, obviously, I also needed more of that today but it’s hardly going to change the world now, is it? Not that your answer needs to be about changing the world. 

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about this question and decided to not search too far for an answer. I looked at myself and where I stand in the world. Who am I? Who interacts with me? What’s happening in the world and how does this relate to/affect me? And when I did all of these self reflection exercises, I realised there was one word coming to me, first in whispers but then strongly hitting me like waves.

Today, I needed more silence.

This silence I’m talking about, has been interacting with me on three different levels: the personal self, in way of protecting those I love and lastly, as a plea to slow things down on a rather larger scale than the previous two silences.

  1. The personal silence
1. The old bathroom 2. At the office, trying to mute the drilling with music 3. The end result of one day drilling

As many of you might know, the past seven months have been…challenging for me. Things have sorted themselves out but my inner self, is restless. I have trouble sleeping because my mind buzzes when all it should be doing is shutting up and at the same time, when you’re following me on twitter, you also know that we’re renovating the bathroom.

In a perfect world, that wouldn’t bother me so much but when you add drilling noises from 9 to 5 and consider the fact that my office and the bathroom’s shower share a common wall, you might understand then when I say that this makes my head ready to explode. And tomorrow’s a new day with more drilling. Oh my…

I’m so glad I’ve got my headphones nearby when this happens. My mind needs silence!

2. Protection by silence

I’m not declaring that everyone should stop talking, au contraire, but I wish some would think a bit longer before they spoke. Especially when they direct their subjects to my mum and specifically when that subject contains words like ‘cancer’ and ‘death’, whether separated or in combination it doesn’t matter. It’s not that my mum isn’t a big girl and can’t be realistic about this, it’s more like, my mum cares too much and it eats at her. One moment she’s feeling good, subject arrives, person leaves and my mum stays behind worrying for days. Not only does this affect her mood but it also affects her health. I know everyone means well but sometimes what you don’t know, can’t hurt you either.

Does this make me (or her) naïve? Maybe. But at least we have enjoyable days with good moods then. Believe me when I say we think a lot about the other side too without being reminded. McFly’s lyric comes to mind from their song Bubblewrap: I wish I could bubblewrap my heart, in case I’d fall and break apart. (Also, I definitely needed more McFly today too, so that’s set straight now too – Oh, Danny ❤).

3. Silence on the larger scale

I don’t think I’m making assumptions when I say most of you will have heard of the tragic events that happened in Paris a couple of weeks ago, if not, click here. I’m aware of how ‘my silence’ contradicts with this but in no way do I mean that people should give up their freedom of speech. What I mean with this: I want the silence to return in the streets. I want this to stop.

This event has roots linked to my country and the past weeks have been hectic and scary. For the first time in decades, military are walking on our streets and one threatening message after the other is directed to us, my country. People are afraid and for what? Why can’t we all live in harmony? We’re all humans. Black, white, catholic or not – we share the same genes, the same earth, the same air. Why do people have to be in pain for having an opinion, a mind of their own?

Whether you’re watching this from afar or are right in the middle of this, we’re all affected by this. This is going to change our future and our children will have to live in this world. We’re all in this together. So please, don’t ever forget that.

With all of that being said, I’d like to hear what you needed more today. You can interpret this in whatever way you’d like. I didn’t take the ‘today’ too literal and stretched it out to a general feeling although it affects me on a daily basis.

Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and if you want to write a post for your own blog answering the question, feel free to share a link and I’ll make sure to check it out!

With love and a sleepy silent hug,

Fien x


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